I don't even know if she reads this but,

I really love my sister Christine. She's like my mom, my sister, and my best friend ALL IN ONE - who could ask for more? I mean, I love all my sisters equally but I think since we are so close in age I just inevitably gravitate towards her more. She's been there with me throughout everything in my life and one thing I really value is that she is ALWAYS straight up with me and supports me NO MATTER WHAT. Any decision I make, she supports me.....even if she thinks it's a stupid decision. She lets me make my own mistakes so I could hold myself accountable for my decisions and LEARN from them. I'm never afraid to run to her when I'm feeling weak with the same issues over and over again, afraid that she'll get tired hearing it from me...because I know that she'll never get tired hearing it (I guess she's like my personal therapist for free, and god knows I could use one lol). When I talk to her one day about some revelation I've had....then talk to her the next day about how I feel the complete opposite...she is never there to judge, always there to just listen and support. She's gone through SO MUCH SHIT in her life (and today when I was talking to her, she told me that I don't even know the half of it!) that I respect her so much for the wisdom she has to offer and for who she is today...

If you have people like this in your life - people who are older and wiser and have learned through experience, who you will trust with your soul, and who you KNOW will support you no matter what....thank them, and be appreciative. ALWAYS. I really don't think I would be able to get through life without her.

my true love

Me, Jos, and Stacy were watching old Music Machine videos the other day and it brought back the passion in me to get on stage again. Seriously, singing was MY LIFE back in highschool! I don't even think many people know I applied to UCI as a vocal music major, and I'm kind of disappointed I didn't really continue singing while in college (on a side note - I'm going to really try and quit smoking because my vocal range and stamina are complete shit). Singing really is one of my hobbies that truly brings me joy and love. So...I picked up my guitar again the other day and started singing. I sang and sang until I cried and cried. I just released every emotion possible and it was such a therapeutic experience!

I wonder what would've happened if I continued with musical theater? There was a brief point in my life where my goal was to be on Broadway (lol).

This was the song I was singing the other day that just brought me to tears. I don't really know why.. (I've never seen Wicked although I know all the words to the soundtrack!)..I think the lyrics just got to me. Anyway, Idina Menzel is one of my idols - just listen and watch her passion shine through when she performs...



Ahh ok back to LOGIC GAMES!! Have a beautiful day :)

Rev Run, etc

So Rev Run's tweets have been a good supplement to my daily thoughts about everything and nothing. This one in particular got me thinking-

"Opposition is merely a sign that ur makin progress! Warefare always surrounds the birth of a miracle :-) Dr Murdoch"

Where would we be without opposition.....disagreement, argument, difference...? I'd rather be constantly challenged (and if need be, agree to disagree) because you're guaranteed to always learn SOMETHING. Learn more about how your thinking process works, how others communicate, how your thoughts affect your feelings, how to come to terms with opposition, etcetc. The battle is part of the process. At the end both parties end up with new knowledge to better prepare for the future...so why does it feel like a battle?

I've learned to value the importance of an open dialogue thanks to most of my classes at UCI. I think for me, the struggle comes with how to effectively (and logically?) communicate ideas without it constantly seeming like a battle. My sister says I'm always on the defense...and to choose your battles WISELY. I think it's something I'll just learn with more experience. Hopefully law school will help me develop this skill!

Ok, I'm ranting. But I feel like I haven't had a chance to make sense of all my thoughts recently. I think I've hit this point in my life where I can look at all my experiences and take what I've learned and apply it to where I see myself in the future. I'm sure graduating has something to do with it, but I feel a sense of urgency to keep focused on my future goals after a very stressful time of being un-focused. I've learned that having a focused and goal-oriented mind (and actually being proactive about it) is my driving force. At the end of the day I just want to feel like I've accomplished something towards my goals. It makes me happy.

And now my mind is drifting to how appreciative I am of my sister's who've helped me realized these things...but I think I'll save that for another post. Ciao