study wasted!

screw the whittier library, my house has become a haven for the masses





I might be going insane. This is the most acne I've had on my face since middle school. Thank you stress and frustration! I've never been this mentally drained in my life. But I keep reminding myself that I'd MUCH RATHER be mentally drained than emotionally drained ANY day. Halfway there! ahhhhhhhhh

Modal Soul Classics II...

Album dedicated to Nujabes. Please buy now. SO GOOD.

2 weeks-

Finals are around the corner and I never thought I'd feel so balanced.

In the spirit of the holidays, I must give a very special shout out to my roommate Kati. (I don't think she reads this? But if you happen to stumble upon this someday, this is for you!)

I didn't really know what to expect when I started law school, but I definitely did not expect to develop such a deep-rooted relationship with my random law school roommate. I've known her for about 3 months now and I can honestly say that she is, and will be, one of my most valued friends. I'm SO thankful that we're going through all this sweat and tears together. I wouldn't be feeling this "balanced" if it wasn't for her support and mere PRESENCE in my life. So Kati...I love you! Thank you for making my law school experience (so far) more enjoyable than I ever thought it would be.

I hear horror stories about people with terrible living situations, and it's just an added stress to an already stressful situation at school. I don't know why but I've ALWAYS had really good luck with roommates. (Quick shout out to Jess!! The OG roommate that really showed me what it means to be a roommate/best friend at the same time.) Hopefully luck will still be on my side whenever the next move is..

One of the best feelings for me is the feeling of being thankful......grateful, lucky, blessed. So many ways to express the same feeling. I hope yall feel this too as you celebrate Thanksgiving with your families, one love!

It always surprises me when certain songs come on that make me feel strange - really really happy and really really not happy at the same time. It's a weird feeling, but I appreciate it.

this is what love sounds like

God...this song changed my life last night. I love you.

**FINALLY FOUND THE REMIX I WAS LOOKING FOR! Listen and fall in love!

My mind is hardwired into thinking this way! It is no fun once the challenge is over. Next conquest..

SICK ASS MASHUP. ENJOY FRIENDS!

As the weeks go on the more I'm realizing that law school is just one big mind game. You spend countless hours with the same people every damn day and because the nature of it is so competitive and there's so much riding on how well you perform on a test, the line between colleague and competitor is paper thin. I think the top contenders have a strategy for studying and a strategy for psyching other people out. Good thing I'm getting a kick out of playing this game..

and another one

Kaskade breathed new life into me last night. It was such a purifying experience, as if it was just me and him chilling in the confession booth. There's always a sense of "rebirth" when I go to these things, but for some reason last night my connection with the music ran deeper than usual. It didn't just teach me a life lesson; I sort of became the lesson while experiencing the music at that moment. (Imagine this for a second, music as the greatest teacher without words, the third eye chakra we try to develop in ourselves as we mature..) The lesson was this: everything inside you can build and build until it reaches a point where you HAVE to release in order to get rid of that tension and anxiety that comes with the build up. Hold, release, hold, release. Life is a stream of energy colliding and subsiding, learning when to hold on and let go becomes essential to the pursuit (maybe chase?) of happiness..

On that note, I think I need to accept the fact that this "scene" really isn't just a "phase" but a very fundamental part of who I am. And that is kind of a scary thought for the direction my life is heading. The signs on the road say: GROW UP KIM! Make better decisions! But my soul says: JUST BE. Just one of the many contradictions my mind (as I'm sure yours) battles with daily...

One of the reasons why I REALLY LOVE STUDYING is because I get to learn and listen to music at the same time. It's kind of a good excuse to discover new music and I love it-

I'm sorry blogspot, I don't know why I was entertaining the idea of betraying my loyalty to you to succumb to the powers of tumblr. You have comforted me through the gut wrenching twists and turns of life's rollercoaster and I can't thank you enough. With that said, I come back to enjoy your love!

I realized I need to get into the habit of developing my ideas rather than letting them marinate in my brain. I'm going to put forth my best effort and write in here at least once a week.

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I realize school isn't for everyone. Just like religion isn't for everyone; to each his own. But you know how some people get a runner's high? I can honestly say I get a learners high. I thoroughly ENJOY anything and everything about the process of learning: the classroom experience (which in law school, is an entirely different learning experience from undergrad), the collaboration with other people who are learning, and the long hours of reading on my own. I honestly get excited about everything I read because it's an opportunity to feed my brain. And my brain is always hungry! Today I was eating a kiwi in class and my friend asked "don't kiwis have a high concentration of vitamin C, more than oranges?" and I replied "hmm, I'm not sure, but let's find out on wiki..."

Come to find out, kiwi's ARE a rich source of vitamin C! :) In that moment I just remember feeling a great sense of peace and satisfaction and I can't really tell you why. Maybe a satisfaction of knowing what was otherwise unknown? I don't know, but I truly live for moments like these.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." - Albert Einstein

I'm writing this entry as a response to a post from my good friend Jefferson who comments on the age old cliche "everything happens for a reason..."

I'm always skeptical about cliches. They are helpful to the optimist, but don't provide the same comfort to the realist. I agree, it's a good way of thinking for those who wish to remain hopeful: it's not the end of the world, your situation will turn around someday, have faith and trust in the universe, etc. etc. I can identify with this way of thinking when shit hits the fan and everything doesn't go as expected.

But to what end? Notice the "reason" that the thing "happened" only becomes clear in retrospect. It makes sense only when you think about it among other things that have happened in the past. Let's assume everything does happen for a reason. So what? Does it matter what the reason is? When things happen for a reason, that reason stays within the realm of thought and doesn't provide much room for action. It doesn't give the person enough inspiration to DO SOMETHING with that "thing" that happened. It's not really enough to know that things happen for a reason. It's not enough to be hopeful. Hope only gets you so far. But what are you going to DO with the reason why you think it happened?

Things happen, and they will continue to happen - that is just the way the world works. You assign value to the things that happen. The way I like to think about this saying "everything happens for a reason" gives agency back to the person that the "thing" happened to. Everything happens for an opportunity for something else to happen, opportunity being the operative word. Phrased this way, I think it satisfies the concerns of both optimists and realists - there's still a reason to hope for the future while also giving the person the ability/responsibility to create "things" to happen in the future. You are in control of your own destiny! (A cliche to make sense of another cliche!)

This was a really lengthy and pointless philosophical discussion to make my point that being an optimist means nothing if you aren't also an opportunist.

And now back to studying. Thanks for the study break Jefferson!

Head banging in the library all day everyday...

GOODBYE WORLD AS I KNOW IT. It's been great, really. But it's time for me to let go and enter the world of legal jargon and never look back.

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

howdy from texas

One week until legal bootcamp. UGH....I really need to find a way to get excited about this experience.

Until then, wish me and my sister (really, just my sister) good luck at AI auditions!

"A true friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."

out of context

Second psychic sends me to San Fran...




Decluttering feels good.................




Manufactured Inception.........





"klmp0ssible: "when i was in college",,,,that was really weird to type"...........







Do u feel it 2?......

.......

....
.

I can have the most stressful day where I wanna greet everyone with a big fat fuck you, and just the mere thought of these two can change my energy in an instant. They constantly bring new meaning of love into my life and I'm so incredibly grateful I can be their favorite auntie <3

kitty kitty!

I'm sorry Wiki, but..

STUMBLEUPON IS THE COOLEST WEBSITE EVER CREATED. Information and stimulation overload - ah! AHHH!! I love it! Why did I just discover you recently? It's like you were made for me. Stumble, stumble stumble, laugh, love, learn! Thank you internet you make me so happy.

dubadubdub

Definitely wasn't a fan of her voice at first, but it's growing on me-


-----

FREEDOM. What does this mean to you, personally? What does this mean to you as a citizen of the US? I challenge you to explore what it means to be free as we celebrate our independence day! I will be thinking about this today while eating a lot of filipino food, swimming with my niece and nephew, and playing a very competitive game of Scrabble with my family :) FREEDOM! What a beautiful thaang.

:)

Kelly Cutrone

After reading her book, she easily made her way up to my top 10 list of females I admire (a list which includes extraordinary people such as my sisters, Dr. Kim, Jennifer Terry, Hilary Clinton, Angelina Jolie...all for separate and specific reasons. Maybe I'll elaborate later.)

I see so much of myself in her - minus the meth addiction and infamous PR agency. She made me laugh and cry all in one sitting. I love her.

"Many people are surprised to discover that I'm a very spiritual person. After all, I run a business, I say what I think, and I wear all black; we have words for these things in this country: witch, bitch, and cunt. But the truth is that it's faith that gives me the power to speak my truth...Ultimately, we need to be able to battle our demons within and without to get where we want to go. Jesus turned over tables and defended hookers, and the Hindu goddesses were not messing around. Hanging in my office is a large image of the Hindu goddess Durga, who taught me a lot about spirituality. In her eight arms she bears swords, conch shells, tridents, thunderbolts, bows, and discuses: a weapon for every possible occasion. In the Gita, an Indian sacred text, she annihilates demons, rides lions, and makes divine love to her husband. (This sounds to me like the perfect day.)"
-Kelly Cutrone, If you Have to Cry Go Outside

make music

My very very talented friends! ABSOLUTE VALUE

Catch me singing on some tracks reeeeal soon :)

Really quickly,

I need to post some thoughts-

1) It's weird to have an idea of who you think you're gonna be when you grow up, a very obscure kind of undefined idea, and then see that idea shape and re-shape and translate from your brain into the material world. In 2months my life will change drastically and there is so much anxiety and fear in me AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but: this idea, formulated in my head from when I was very little, is what keeps me going and I don't care what anyone says or what other nonsense I'll have to "overcome" but I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN because I am so committed to this idea.

2) It's really crazy how life experiences can change your morals and values and what you feel is the right lifestyle for you. You think you have full grasp on who you are and then the universe smacks you upside the head and says NO, sorry, you need to re-think everything you thought was true. And then you think HMMMM this is really bad timing universe, but ok. A-HA moments left and right! And then you turn right back around and hug the universe and say, THANKS man!! Why didn't you smack me sooner.

3) Just found out this is the SPOP 2010 quote:

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"

When I first heard this quote it was at the right time at the right place in my life (gold year, through jhust, at some dilih haha) and it has been my life mantra ever since. It's funny how we come full circle.

whose story??

I was surprised that everyone gave Arizona a slap on the wrist rather than a punch in the face for their recent education reform that bans ethnic studies. But apparently the xenophobia has spread next door and there's barely any media coverage about it. Come on Texas, re-writing history textbooks to push political agenda? Limiting what type of classes are taught is one issue, but limiting WHAT/HOW it is taught is another. That is straight up indoctrination.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
I's on Edjukashun - Texas School Board
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

shared experiences

The river raft analogy (credit to Brett!) came to life for me this weekend at its VERY finest. I feel like I blog about this a lot, but it means so much to me to reconnect with amazing beautiful and inspirational people that have helped shape my being in any and every way. I LIVE for moments like these. Moments when I’m riding down the river on my raft, wherever mother nature wants to take me, and people decide to hop on for a ride. We share our experiences make new memories stimulate our souls and say adios until the next time our paths collide and you hop back onto my raft (or I hop onto yours!)

My spirit is dancinggggggg through my skin

Thank you, I love you, and I hope we can go river rafting again someday

ps. badu love

Thanks for the info wiki!

My friends- did you know Grant Hill is married to TAMIA?! What a power couple. Because of this, I am secretly hoping he finally wins a championship ring this year. LOS SUNS!

This was one of my favorite songs in 8th grade AND is still one of my all time favorite songs to sing in the shower...

Hmmm

It really, really really sucks to lose something because reality gets in the way.

I guess this is where I bring in the most overly used phrase to cope with life's curve-balls. IT IS WHAT IT IS. I used to have so many issues with this saying. To me it seemed like a cop out for accepting things the way they are - no effort to challenge, no effort to change. Can you imagine what would've happened if Obama got word of the oil spills in the gulf of Mexico and responded with "well, just accept the truth and let it be..it is what it is!" It's a statement absent of any kind of action.

Then I got to thinking, well, no politician would ever be voted into office if their platform was ACCEPT THE STATUS-QUO: IT IS WHAT IT IS! So...I guess the personal isn't always political. On a personal level, there are times when acceptance becomes key to closing doors and opening new ones. You need to face the truth - YOUR truth, regardless if it agrees with anyone else's - and just RUN with it. Stop the inner-struggle and see where it takes you. I have a knee-jerk reaction to challenge everything, so this notion of accepting reality for the way it is proves difficult for my idealism. Byron Katie's book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life helped me understand why sometimes, for your own sanity, you need to dig deeper behind this assumption and that belief and love the truth for what it is (So much easier said than done, but whatever, I'm learning!)

I've read so many self-help books its kind of disgusting. I think I'm about ready to publish my own. And I'm going to call it - KEEPING IT REAL WITH KIM BLACK.

PALIN 2012!

She just radiates intelligence.

manage your money!

During college I lived like I had a constant supply of disposable income (thanks student loans) and now my bank account is feeling the consequences. So..one of the post-graduate responsibilities I'm beginning to tackle is effectively managing my budget. My sister sent me a link to this awesome site, www.mint.com, a free personal finance/budgeting site owned by Quicken. The website is really user-friendly - they explain the ins and outs of investing, 401(k) accounts, etc., in language made for the average dummy who's had very little exposure to it, like ME! Anyway I'm finding it very helpful right now and thought I'd share it with everyone. Check it out!

In the words of Radiohead...everything in it's right place.

breath of fresh air

Liberty Mutual always has the most inspiring commercials:



Acts of INTEGRITY: people selflessly taking small gestures to do the right thing without any benefit for themselves.

It's actually really refreshing to watch after all the mindless crap that we see on tv these days. Great marketing strategy in my opinion - I'll definitely keep them in mind when it's time to shop for home/life insurance!

Meet my niece, Chriselle:

She is such a hot mess....just like her aunt :)

this is how we chill

Back to the days when my sister would play mixed tapes on our way to school...THATS WASSUUP. looove this song

tribute

This song once accompanied me on an amazing journey that I will remember forever..

RIP to another pioneer of music. You changed the way I now see the world.

a way of life

I got the text messages Friday. Dreams realized and shattered within a matter of seconds. Excited, proud - supportive, loving. Consoling a few and congratulating some. One of those rare times in life when so many people are running on extreme highs and lows...when everyone is allowed to feel these uncontrollable emotions and just be human...

After reading the list I was hit with an instant replay of every memory and feeling from the time I opened up that first email until now. The growth, inspiration, friends, knowledge, experiences...there are not enough words in any language to describe the impact of this goddamn orientation program. And I was filled with such an immense amount of JOY and LOVE that could only be understood through shared emotions. These incredible feelings I felt for the people who at this point, can only IMAGINE the ride they’re about to jump on..."whose lives will be changed, and who will change lives." I will rant and rave until I die about my alma mater, UCI, and it’s all because of the crash course on LIFE that UCI is able to give their students.

It just blows my mind what the power of passion and inspiration is capable of producing. It produces great PEOPLE and great COMMUNITIES...and ultimately a community of people who BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES and will take what they’ve learned beyond Campus Dr. and CHANGE THE WORLD. I look forward to creeping on facebook during this time of every year to know that this program will forever continue to positively impact so many lives...

CONGRATULATIONS STOP STAFF 2010! THE LEGACY CONTINUES

living in liminality

"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."

Connect and Re-connect

This is dedicated to my dear friend Gizel who is the inspiration behind this post.

I know I'm blessed with amazing, positive people in my life. I KNOW this. But today was one of those days where a connection with a great friend led me to FEEL incredibly blessed, and that feeling is so empowering.

I truly believe that people embody different and specific energies that relate to their soul. When you find people whose energy compliments yours and acts as a positive influence on your life, build on it and CHERISH it. Don't ever let it go. That's something I've been trying to come to terms with in this post-undergraduate part of life. Relationships with people become harder to maintain, especially when you're physically removed from the place where those relationships developed. Priorities change along with people's life paths, so it takes a more conscious effort to keep connected.

Luckily it's an effort that I gladly make. If you're reading this right now, I want you to know that I appreciate you being a part of my life (past, present, or future) and the influence you've had on me as a person. AND, I hope we can re-connect, continue to connect, and build on our connection as life pushes and pulls us in different places.

I will be making some serious life decisions soon that will direct what path I'll be taking for the next 3 years. It's good to know that wherever I go, that same power and energy will always be there whenever we reconnect.

daaaaaaaaamn

Caught this while I was creepin on Ray Ricafort's blog and had to repost! THE BEAT DROP IS SICK-

recognize, realize, release, receive

I was sitting by myself on a reclining chair watching the visualizer on the wall; meditating. I was breathing in all the energy, all the love; breathing out all the negativity and all the pain I keep locked up in my imaginary world. Every breath was a release and I felt my soul reaching reaching reaching to my highest potential. Connection with myself - my highest potential. Placing all my attention on what this feels like not just in my mind; but in my chest, in my shoulders, in my neck, on my feet. I kept sitting there, by myself, in the most comfortable state of contentment.

I went to the bathroom to pee. I washed my hands (water is such a gift of life) and I dryed them off (how lucky I am to be able to FEEL). I looked in the mirror and was hit with a wave of emotions. I love what I see. How could I be so blind? I love me. And I love you because I love me. I went back to lay on the floor, to breathe again, to share this feeling in the presence of great people.

They say that once you reach peace in aloneness you can never be lonely. You can stop reaching for connection with [attention from] others when the connection with [attention from] yourself is enough. This is a powerful idea and feeling that I challenge everyone to explore for themselves.

Radiohead! I will love you forever

La Vie Boheme

My mantra!

Hands down best cast. (Only because I love Eden Espinosa)

Blessings

I'm such a sucker for the new-age spirituality/self-help movement. As far as blogs go, the founder of urbanmonk.net has really done his research. I've found this website most helpful in my path towards peace so I thought I'd share it with yall - enjoy!

PS.
After years of my sister Elaine waiting to get pregnant, the second attempt of in vitro was finally successful. Soon I will be the proud aunt of twins!



Patience is really a virtue :)

No more dreaming

It all starts with an idea. This will be my new home by 2013.