What Are You?

I get asked this question a lot, especially with regards to my race, ethnicity, and sexuality. Or as the intellectuals and those more PC would say - what do you identify as?

My story changes every time.

"Half white, half Filipino"
"My dad is half white/half Filipino, my mom is Filipino and part Chinese"
"White, Filipino, and Chinese"
"My dad is part white. But don't ask me what kind of white because I don't know"

I think me being multiracial (and not really knowing what races/percentages are included in the mix) along with my very radical stance on sexuality is part of the reason why I love the word QUEER. If you're not familiar, here's part of the definition from OED:

QUEER adj.-
1) Strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character; suspicious, dubious
2) (orig. U.S.). Of a person: homosexual. Hence: of or relating to homosexuals or homosexuality. Although originally chiefly derogatory (and still widely considered offensive, esp. when used by heterosexual people), from the late 1980s it began to be used as a neutral or positive term (originally of self-reference, by some homosexuals; in place of gay or homosexual, without regard to, or in implicit denial of, its negative connotations. In some academic contexts it is the preferred adjective in the study of issues relating to homosexuality (queer theory); it is also sometimes used of sexual lifestyles that do not conform to conventional heterosexual behavior, such as bisexuality or transgenderism.

I've always lived with this feeling that I was different....that my values and desires weren't in line with the norm. Last year, I feel like I finally came to terms with who I am (regarding my identity), because I found a lot of other people who think like me. I live a queer life. Maybe to me, queer can be synonymous with radical. The way I think about life, talk about life, act in life...it's all very strange. weird. unconventional. But when I'm around other people who are just as weird as I am, it's comforting. And these people are those in the women's studies posse (along with a few others I've met elsewhere). It already takes a different person to major/minor in women's studies, let alone take a few classes. I mean come on, where else will you find crazy kids watching obscene pornography in the middle of the day between class?



It's hard to find spaces where you feel like you belong. I'm glad I found mine in this department, I've met some of the craziest intellectuals. And it's sad to think I only have one quarter left with them....then we're all going our own separate ways out into the real world - the "normal" world where people won't be as receptive to the way we think.

All I know is that if law school doesn't work out, I'm definitely moving to San Fransisco!