New year, new me!

Goals for the new year (sorry if they're rather jumbled and vague)-

1. Be more positive. Turn negative energy, thoughts, and feelings into positive ones. Maintain a positive relationship with MYSELF and with other people. Go into every new situation and experience with optimism and hope, not with fear. Start everyday with a positive thought and a smile :)
2. Don't dwell on the past. (Easier said than done, but practice makes perfect right?) Don't live with regrets or any should've could've would've bullshit. It isn't a productive way of thinking. Practice living in the MOMENT. Appreciate everything and always give thanks
3. SELF UNDERSTANDING. Know who I am, know what I want, who I want to become, and be PROACTIVE to enact change in myself. Know what I value in life and stay true to myself and my own morals, even if normal people (whatever that means) may question them. UGH, ethics..read below for my tangent*. Anyway, Zach Braff once said (he's actually a pretty intelligent man) that our body goes through puberty in our teens, and our mind goes through puberty in our twenties. I know there's a bunch of other social, cultural, education, economic and blahblah factors involved, but this really resonated with me when I read it. Understand your thought process to understand your emotions. (I feel like I say this a lot)
5. READ READ READ. Actively search for new knowledge
6. Exercise more! Eat healthier (typical new year's resolution)
7. More laughs and genuine connections with people
8. Don't be too critical and judgmental of others
10. Stop worrying about what other people think of me. In my head I do this more often than not, even with my i-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. What matters most is what I think of myself. For example: I realized I am a brutally honest person. This wonderful personality trait of mine may come off to others as me being insensitive, overly critical, and/or a bitch. But I know who my true friends are because they appreciate my honesty and lack of concern for sugar-coating and bullshitting. Where was I going with this tangent...........yeah, don't let other people sway your opinion too much. Advice is always welcome, but don't let it dictate how you think. Seek answers and knowledge for yourself, and come up with your own conclusions no matter how irrational and unconventional it may be to others
11. Surround myself with more like-minded people. Great minds think alike! And it makes for a good support system
12. Let love in all shapes and form flow more freely into my life

*In my Eng105 class we started having this conversation about whether the more "graphic" homosexual literature of today is good or bad. What kind of a question is this? Good or bad according to what, and on whose terms? I wouldn't have had much aversion to this discussion if it was in casual conversation, but in the classroom it just turned into a huge debate about what is MORALLY good/bad, just/unjust without any prior discussion of ethics or morality (which is in the wrong department anyway, ask the philosophy heads next door). I like to believe in moral relativism so this discussion was completely useless and a waste of my time. I don't care if you think cross-generational relationships and child molesters are equally bad, because I like to think that there is a world of difference to be accounted for before branding them as equally deserving of bad moral or ethical conduct. Perspective! Framing! Ah I miss you already Dr. Kim..
*END RANT

Yes, I know my goals are mostly focused on self improvement. What can I say I'm a pretty selfish person, but always with good intentions (had to bring in ethics to justify myself, heh heh). I have been conditioned to my (sometimes overly negative) way of thinking at a very young age that it's often habitual and unconscious, but I think acknowledging and recognizing this is the first step, no? I also realize this process in changing your thinking and outlook on life is a journey that ends when you die, but I have hope in this first attempt at trying to solve the problem myself and avoid costly medical fees on a psychiatrist. Sparked by an entry on Shanel Yang's blog, I was reading about this new "positive psychology" movement where they are trying to stray away from the old Freudian theory of understanding yourself according to how you were raised and the experiences you went through as a child. Instead, they advocate for understanding yourself not through a fixed mindset, but one that has potential for growth. This isn't to discredit any childhood experiences because of course that says a lot about who you are. Yet it is to say that your experiences don't always define who you are (ie. my dad treated me this way so that's why I'm like this) but you have the power to define your experiences (ie. my dad treated me this way but this is how I'm going to re-evaluate the effects of that treatment). This was a lengthy tangent for a point I don't remember I was trying to make but...oh yes, this is the year for self improvement! I'm taking a break from trying to save the world this year.

CIAO