Laura Kipnis

So I found this blog entry that I wrote last year on my old PRIVATE xanga and wondered what my point was in keeping it private. Thus I would like to share this food for thought with my readers..

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"So we all know that I’m probably the president of the Dr. Kim fan club, but I don’t think people really understand what an amazing professor she is. If it wasn’t for her, I would probably still be stuck in the same mindset society, my parents, and the media have implanted in my brain over and over again. But she is my Jesus! And she came at just the right moment in my life..

All her classes are pretty radical (radical meaning cool AND politically radical) but one that has shaped my consciousness more so than any other was this class I took with her last year called feminist theory in sexuality. It exposed me to the field of queer theory - which basically aims to deconstruct all normative notions of sexuality, marriage, family, and love (to say the least). Anyway, a question I’m going to pose to you is this: why do you think the state has a significant interest in regulating love? The divorce rate in our country is obscene, about 40%. Almost HALF of all marriages end in divorce. Why do you think this happens? The way we think about love is completely tied to this ‘web of mutuality’ (stole that from Kipnis) and monogamy all within this language and culture of capitalism. What if we were able to let people love on their own terms? I am in no way discrediting monogamous love, and in no way advocating cheating and promiscuity. But why do moral judgments have to be made when one deviates from monogamous love...non-heterosexual love...non-romantic love...non-procreative love...

Love in any way YOU think it should mean."

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And just in case you're interested, here is a review from salon.com of Kipnis' argument for her article Against Love: A Polemic

In the Kipnis marriage universe, coupled partners learn to tolerate each other, but barely. They're people with mutual needs that have to be met, but to meet them, you usually have to guess what they are first, unless, of course, they're enumerated for you regularly in a shrill lecture. And forget the fact that sexual desire in human beings is disorderly and unpredictable: We're expected to pick a partner and stick with him or her forever, claiming that we have achieved "mature love" when the sex becomes boring or nonexistent.

The point is that marriage, which ostensibly jerks us into a lockstep of manageability that should ideally last a lifetime, serves society more than it serves the human spirit. And that's where the idea of adultery as civil disobedience comes in. Kipnis isn't interested in feelings here: What she really cares about are social patterns. (More than once she sends out a message to the aggrieved partners of cheating spouses everywhere -- a shout-out along the lines of Bill Clinton's "I feel your pain.") And adultery, for all its bad juju, does have its good points.

For one thing, it completely confounds your sense of time, and, as Kipnis wisely observes, "Time organizes us as selves, from the inside out ... Even small protests against time-management are worth some attention, because screw around with time and, in fact, you're adulterating the very glue of orderly social existence."

Adultery is a form of risk-taking, a renegade act, a reaffirmation that, OK, we may be married, but we're not dead. We're humans with "messy subjectivities." Adultery is a kind of performance art (Kipnis refers to it, more than once, as "acting out") in which "conventions are defied; chance elements introduced; new viewpoints engineered."

I recommend any reading by Laura Kipnis! She'll definitely give you a perspective that you don't want to hear, but can't help but understand.

l.o.v.e.

Just a quick thought: Yesterday Lynsey and I were talking about friendships, and how unfortunate it is when friendships fade. Sometimes you try to do all you can to keep that same connection but people change. Sometimes you have to let things be and stop trying to force something that isn't there. But when friendships fade it opens doors for others to blossom....another beauty of life. The people in your life right now are in it for a reason - be thankful for them!

i love you
have a beautiful evening

Maximize Your Time

I had yet ANOTHER amazing day today which was a good transition into the school week. On the way home from the ARC, TAJ and I were having a conversation about living up our last 2 quarters here at UCI - a conversation I've been having with a lot of people recently. Graduating hasn't really hit me yet, but it's weird to think that I have no actual, concrete plans after June. It's such an EXCITING thought, because I feel like the world is at my fingertips and I could do and accomplish anything I want to and nothing is holding me back. Anyway I don't really know if I'll still be living in Irvine, moving back home, or moving across the country or world. It's the LAST time all our friends and the people we made good connections with are still gonna be together in the same environment. It's like that feeling you get when you're going up soooo slowly on a rollercoaster and the butterflies in your stomach are flying around like crazy and your heart is about to pump out of its chest....you're anxious for it to happen but you can't wait for it to happen at the same time!

Here is a list of ideas I have collected from people while having this conversation about maximizing our time here at UCI:
1) Go to the OCC swapmeet on the weekends
2) Culinary Adventures
3) More art shows on campus (Catalyst this Thurs)
4) Free drama shows/musicals
5) Indie films at UTC/movies at the dollar theater
6) Bike rides to HB
7) Going to more speaker/lecturer events on campus
8. Newport specialties (like 1/2 off food at Newport Landing during happy hour on Wednesdays!)
9) Improv nights at the pub on Mondays
10) Puente reunion (this is what me and Layla want to accomplish)

Go to all those dinners your friends invite you to. Make all those lunch dates you've always said you would plan. Celebrate every birthday. Talk to all of your professors! Make new memories. Keep those connections you've made with people while you're still here, and build on the ones you already have. Cherish every moment you have with every person. It can be as simple as giving a sincere hello and a big hug. Make the most of your time here, and everywhere!




Taj and I were planning on going to the swapmeet after that inspiring conversation, but Jessica calls and asks if we want to go for a bike ride :) I'm so glad Jessica is here because she motivates me to do things and to go places. She is queen of making the most of her time!



We rode all the way down to Balboa Island and walked around for a bit, which is where we discovered Newport Landing and their awesome happy hour! These girls rode by us on their bikes and one of the chicks said "we are so spoiled!" in a really annoying rich bitch kind of way. I turned to Taj to make fun of how stupid she sounded but then realized that I, too, feel so spoiled for living here. Then my feeling of being spoiled turned to a feeling of being incredibly blessed.



So go for a bike ride in the sun! You might not have time to do it tomorrow :)